I think....

This morning I am lounging in bed, thinking about stuff: the affectionate email from my "baby" brother, who is now 40; the book on tape that that was so full of angst that I had to stop listening even though it was well plotted and interesting; and my new grand puppy and how he will impact the lives of my son and daughter-in-law.

I think of how it is so very easy for an adult to impact the life of a child....and to forge ties or cause pain for all of their lives. Mike was 14 (Aaron 9, Ada 4 and I was...umm 38?) when he came, a virtual stranger, for a two week visit to our family in California. He was full of energy and of ideas for fun electronic projects (I about went bankrupt at Radio Shack) . The neighborhood boys followed him around like the pied piper as he made things light up, make noise or spin. Thirty years later, a man with a family and children of his own....and he loves me still....all because of two weeks in an ordinary summertime? It could be blood ties, I suppose, but it still fills me with awe.

I think of the stupid book. It was well plotted, had an interesting location, good historical tidbits and well defined charactors - every one of them mired in continual self refection, personal tragedy and random deep thoughts. I was forced to learn (this being a book on tape where skipping sections is difficult) way more than I wanted to know about these people, but it bothers me that I couldn't listen. Am I emotionally challenged; jealous that I don't have constant deep thoughts; or perhaps inadequate in some other way?

I think about the puppy. I am excited because, well I don't know... because, I suppose, it is a new life. I am imagining that they will love him for all the reasons you love a good dog and because he will love them with a single minded devotion that will make up for a few sleepless nights and constant vigilance.